The following article was copied from GeoffandAmy.com. A big "Thank You" to Geoff for giving us permission.

About Geoff and Amy: Positive Thai Farang relationships are possible! Amy and I are a Thai Farang Couple, she's from Si Sa Ket and I'm from the USA. We hope you enjoy our site, dedicated to the sanuk side of our cross-cultural mishmash. If you have your own stories to tell, drop us a line or join the forum.

It is often expressed as a euphemism or hidden in some wordy explanation of Thai hierarchical systems. But the real reason why your Isaan wife feels uncomfortable in social situations that include members of the Central Thai/Bangkok society is that she has been systematically separated and had her worth diminished throughout her life. It has left an impression of inferiority on her psyche that could last a lifetime, even when physically removed from the situation.

Coming from a background/gender/racial heritage that suffers from almost no level of discrimination, I was aware that the problem existed but did not recognize its significance. It was brought into the foreground for me during a recent conversation I had with a woman from a “good Bangkok family” in a Thailand themed forum. I made some observations that obviously upset her and her initial and immediate reaction was to start attacking Amy. She used the term “Isarn” almost as a curse word, like I can imagine “Nigger” being used by some people in the States.

Here are some of the brighter moments from the conversation.

“I think people who read this book almost has Isarn girl, tell me who don't marry with Isarn girl”

“Mr.Geoff ,
Seem like your wife come from Isarn region, I am sure she sent money to her home country every month (lol), good for you (he, he)”

and the simplest but nonetheless my personal favorite;

“Isarn girl”

This led me to talk to Amy a bit about her experiences with discrimination. She arrived in Bangkok at eighteen and started work in a restaurant. She told me that at the time she had a clearly recognizable Si Sa Ket accent. While working, she was openly laughed at and mocked by customers because of her accent. She then worked for the next couple years to eliminate any Si Sa Ket from her voice and replace it with a more generic central Thai accent. She claims, although she can still speak Isaan/Lao, when speaking Thai she cannot speak it with a Si Sa Ket accent any longer.

I am sure that the majority of Isaan girls who moved to the city to work had similar experiences. Depending on the girl, the damage done by this could range from mild to totally devastating. It is certainly disturbing enough that it may be one of the root causes of some of the antisocial behavior that gets attributed to Isaan women, with the logic; “I am a worthless Isaan person anyhow, so why not take Yaa Baa, steal, sell myself, etc.”

This process of demoralization, however, begins long before the first trip to Bangkok. The policy of Thaification, especially in the schools, can also have detrimental effects on Isaan peoples’ sense of cultural worth. To speak solely Isaan/Lao until you attend school and then to be suddenly told that it is no longer allowed because it is not up to par with central Thai will leave children insecure about the cultural identity, that up until this point was all that they knew. (This is not intended to be a critique of Thai political policy. Having a national identity and national loyalties is extremely important. I fully support, for example, the US policy of requiring only English be used in schools, so as to attempt to prevent large rifts from developing between minority groups and greater society. I only want to point out that these policies, especially when coupled with a climate of discrimination can be expected to have some side effects.)

Because they are regularly dealt with as second-class citizens, as well as being socially isolated from any relationship with central Thai people that does not involve subservience, the Isaan women who make it to Bangkok are left only with media images of their central Thai counterparts in advertisements and television as the basis to form their evaluation of them. Although I am by no means an expert on Thai TV, the shows that I have seen revolve around a family or group of friends who, normally without too much explanation, are wealthy and leading fabulous lives. Of course, no mention is made of the education or hard work that was needed to attain this lifestyle.

It is no wonder that the conclusion that is easily drawn here by the Isaan observers is: I am a second-class citizen. They are real Thai first-class citizens, and the primary difference is money. Its easy to see why an unhealthy obsession with money can develop, resulting in some of the girls resorting to dishonesty to obtain it.

What does this mean to us though? We are not going to cure social inequalities in Thailand. Most of us have far too many similar problems at home. We will probably not be able to have any influence on Isaan shrugging off its inferiority complex. We can however work on doing that at home, on a personal level.

First, just being aware that this could play a roll in your significant other’s thought process is a great start. Bringing it up as a discussion point is also a good idea. Not all women will have been exposed to discrimination equally and not all personalities are equally as susceptible to its negative effects. Getting it in the open will help to determine if it is a problem or not.

Secondly, you can help her build her confidence. Often women want to compensate for these feelings of inadequacy. Big gold chains, expensive handbags, or a new designer shirt may provide an instant, temporary confidence boost, but it is quickly gone again.

Instead, help her to realize her inherent worth by encouraging her to develop herself through studying, community adult school courses, or by taking the time to teach her new skills yourself. Involve her in important decisions. Get her opinion, no matter how many times she repeats the phrase “Up to you.” And perhaps most importantly, take an active interest in her Isaan culture and heritage. Show her everyday that it is vital and part of the reason you are with her.